This Shifts Everything
This chalkboard in my studio has been mocking me since the pandemic started. However, my mantras still hold!
I’m curious.
Yep, it’s my modus operandi: I’m a big fan of wondering.
This curiosity trait has spared me from mountains of anxiety and ushered me to places and experiences I never could have imagined. (It’s also helped me survive Election Season so far.)
Curiosity propelled me to Kenya with the Peace Corps in my early 20s.
Curiosity lured me into martial arts at age 40. Then “wondering what would happen if I just kept showing up” turned me into a sensei.
Curiosity tugged me towards entrepreneurship around that same time. When I left my teaching career, I didn’t know exactly where I was going. But sometimes knowing what you need to move away from is reason enough to begin moving. (I could say the same about leaving my 16-year marriage.) Curiosity is, by nature, open-ended.
Curiosity keeps me sane and engaged as an artist. It’s my secret defense against the failure, rejection, and indifference that are necessary features of creative living.
A Subtle But Fundamental Difference
Today is Election Day in the US. As I write this (and by the way, I’m thankful for the distraction of a deadline), no one knows what the outcome will be, nor which events will transpire on the way to that outcome. I am so curious.
It might seem insignificant, but there’s a huge contrast between, “I’m so curious to see how this is going to turn out” and “Oh my god, what if _________ happens? Or what if _________ happens? Or what if …”
I’m still working out in my mind why the two approaches are so different, but I think it has to do with distance and agency. Distance, because if you can remove yourself from being enmeshed in the outcome and step back to observe, there’s a greater opportunity for mindfulness. Agency, because when suspended in a state of curiosity, you haven’t doomed yourself to a specific outcome yet. You remain open to possibilities.
And that’s what we need to cultivate right now: Openness to possibilities.
Back to My Ongoing Dance With Curiosity
A few years ago, curiosity teased me into the world of flamenco. During the Absolute Beginner dance class, I couldn’t even look at myself in the mirror. I felt so hideous doing the unfamiliar moves that I cringed any time I caught sight of it.
But my intrigue was stronger than my embarrassment.
I’m also patient and I like a good challenge and I trust my body’s ability to learn new things. I’d gone through the exact same adaptation process about 12 years earlier when, at first, everything in karate rattled my gymnastics-trained sensibilities. I saw that, over time and with repeated practice — plus constant marveling at the mysterious forces drawing me to this practice in the first place — my body could indeed inhabit martial arts stances. Or maybe the stances began to make themselves at home in my body.
I suspected that eventually, this would happen with flamenco. I just needed to keep showing up.
I Hope It’s Contagious
These days, Let’s See What I Can Do has become a sort of game, and I love getting others to play with me. There are few things more satisfying than cheering others on in their accomplishments, big or small.
So without further ado, let’s get to the homework! I’m super excited about this one.
Election Week Homework For Eventually Saving the World
No pressure about rescuing the planet yet — we’ll talk about that in a bit. For now, get ready for a micro-challenge. I’m serious, it’s really tiny.
STEP ONE: Think back to a time when you were an awkward beginner at something. Maybe you picked up a musical instrument for the first time, or you were just learning how to juggle, or you were a brand new parent, and holding your baby made you feel like a poser. Spend a few minutes conjuring up the feeling of Not Knowing How. Remember the discomfort and probably the self-consciousness or humility or maybe even shame (or best case: humor) that came along with the Not Knowing How.
STEP TWO: Now trace the steps that moved you from that initial awkwardness towards familiarity with that action.
QUESTION: How did it happen?
(Seriously, fill in the blank: What did you have to do? ___________________________________)
ANSWER: Um, duh, you practiced! Repetition in small increments is what got you from novice to pro — or in my case, from the Absolute Beginner class to the Beginner class, now to the Advanced Beginner class. 💃🏻
In 55 years on this Earth, I haven’t experienced any other way to get better at doing stuff. Have you?
No, you haven’t. So let’s experiment with what practice can do on a micro level.
That was just the pre-homework warm-up. We’re ready!
Now that you’re all primed for witnessing minuscule improvements, here’s your actual assignment. It’s gonna be fun!
Choose one small, private, insignificant thing to watch your body learn over the next week. It has to be observable/measurable, and yet pretty inconsequential. Silly is fine. You will probably be the only one who notices or cares, and that is perfect. No one else needs to know about it. (But don’t be surprised if you feel like crowing about your progress at some point! I find the teeny accomplishments make me feel the most powerful.)
Infuse this activity with curiosity. Your leading questions is, “I wonder how far/long/high/accurately (insert appropriate descriptor) I can do this, with practice, after one week.”
Practice that tiny thing for, say, 3 - 10 minutes per day, starting today. Don’t forget to note your baseline, i.e. where you’re starting from, so that you can track your progress. But really, ONE THING, FOR A FEW MINUTES PER DAY. This is micro work.
(Optional but encouraged) Report back to me next week about what you accomplished! Nothing is too tiny to brag about. (You learned to stand on your head for 3 seconds?? That’s awesome!) In my wildest dreams, you would post it in a comment on my blog. But since most of my readers are introverted watchers-from-a-distance types, emailing me is also good, and speaking it into your coffee cup works, too. The Universe will be super excited for you. 🤓✨
Examples and Ideas for Your Micro-Challenge
Flexibility — Work on touching your toes. If that’s too easy, can you put your palms flat on the floor with your legs straight? Or get yourself measurably closer to the splits? Or some kind of shoulder stretch, clasping hands behind your back? You know your body — pick what makes sense for you.
Balance — Time yourself standing on one foot. Then see how much longer you can do it after a week of practice. If that’s too boring, close your eyes or do kicks with your in-the-air leg (how many can you do before losing your balance?). Or balance on tip-toes. Or for you yogis out there, work up to a crow, or a side crow, or some other crazy balance pose you’ve seen in class but didn’t think you could do.
Strength — How many push-ups can you do? Maybe in seven days, you’ll be able to do a few more! How long can you hold a plank position? Can you stand on your hands with feet against the wall? (There are ways to work up to that.) Sure, there’s weight-lifting, too, but that seems so… normal. 🤪
Memory — What’s a song you’ve been wanting to learn the lyrics to? What mantra do you want to be able to recite in Sanskrit? Can you name all 50 states in the U.S.? All 10 provinces and 3 territories in Canada? The 32 states of Mexico (technically 31 plus a federal district)? All 30 Major League Baseball teams, with city, mascot, league, and division? (Now you have an idea what my road trips with young kids were like.)
Bravery — What feels terrifying in a thrilling way? For me a year ago this was singing in front of people who were not my immediate family members. With practice, I’ve watched myself get both braver and more competent at it, and I love it! What would be an exciting stretch for you? Sending a small painting to a friend who doesn’t know you like to paint? Reaching out each day to a different friend you’ve lost touch with? Recording yourself playing the ukelele and posting it on Instagram (not for the ❤️s, but for the personal challenge, of course)? You could rehearse that difficult conversation you need to have, then actually have it. That’s measurable progress and true bravery. 💪🏽
Coordination — How are you at shuffling cards? Can you make a bridge afterward? Can you eat with chopsticks? Can you pat your head while rubbing your stomach? 🙃(Great example of our target level of activities!) Do you have a pogo stick? What’s your current bouncing record? Have a place to skip rocks? A basket for shooting free throws or lay-ups? (Tossing wads of paper into the recycle bin also counts.)
Your ideas here: __________________________________ (Remember, just pick one small thing!)
How Do I Win This Game?
If you’re energized by your progress, then you win!
If you feel like a kid again, you win!
If watching yourself learn small things with your hands or your body or your brain motivates you to try more small things, that’s a big win!
If those small accomplishments move you to try little brave things out in the world, then we all win!
Let’s break it down.
The key to enjoying this game, rather than stressing out about this game, is where you put your attention. If you’re focusing on how badly you’re doing, or you’re obsessed with how you used to be able to do so much more when you were younger, or you’re distracted by how embarrassed you’d be if someone saw you, or you keep getting mad at your misfires and putting yourself down… well, those are all things to notice.
Then bring your attention to the goofy excitement you felt as a kid when you learned new things, and let your attention go there instead. To that part of you that delighted in exploring and wondering and playing without a purpose. (If you’re a parent, recall the times your kid wanted to show you 473 times a day what they just did. Mama, look! Dad, look! That’s the zone we’re aiming for.)
Focus on the process. Find joy in wondering where this will lead.
And What’s the Point?
Regardless of the outcome of this election, we’ve got serious work to do. Our country is broken and we will be the ones needed to fix it. Doing things the same way we’ve always done them will not help, nor will throwing up our hands — in victory or in resignation — and waiting for other people to do the work.
Mastery of skills is a motivator, a confidence-booster, and a self-esteem generator. It doesn’t matter how ridiculous those skills are. The important part is seeing ourselves as always able to learn. And dismissing stories that say we’re too old or too young. (In the past week I learned about this 92 year-old singer’s new album and this 92 year-old therapist’s new book.)
Let’s get curious about where our own skills can be put to the best use as we heal the country — or keep it from slipping deeper into dictatorship.
We Need Constant Reminders of Our Potential
We are — each of us — capable of more than we ever imagined. I’ve already accomplished things in this lifetime than I’d ever dreamed I would. I’m a frickin’ professional artist, for god’s sake, and I get to spend my days writing, painting, doodling, singing, and dancing. I never would have let myself sneak such extravagances onto my goal-setting lists.
Fortunately, I started following my curiosity instead of my plans.
Curiosity keeps me always in the game. Let’s see what I can do. Let’s see what you can do.
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, WHO ARE YOU NOT TO BE?”
Now for a few housekeeping notes:
I’m still accepting DOODLES from October’s podcast doodle prompt. I’m actually waiting for yours, specifically. Hint: Doodling is a perfect calming activity in times of uncertainty. Here’s more info about that. Please email a photo of your doodle to me by November 12th, so that I can feature it in my November 13th PICTURES post. It takes a village for this one, otherwise you’ll just be getting mine and Kate’s. 😬
I’ve stocked my shop with GIFT SETS for the holidays! Since I’m not doing in-person sales this year, I took the liberty to read your mind and create little collections of hand-made items that I think you’ll like. They are one-of-a-kind, so once a particular gift set is gone, that’s it! Check them out here.
The only gift set that’s not one-of-a-kind is the new Doodle book + colored pencil set + pencil sharpener combos I’ve put together, thanks to requests for such a combo. Those are here. Or you can just purchase copies of the book here. Single copy prices went up, but you’ll still save some cold hard cash when you buy them in multiples. Share the love of doodling! Plus, the book will totally help you shift to a curiosity mindset!
Last but not least, I’m offering FREE SHIPPING for the rest of November for my compatriots, on orders over $100. Use the discount code THANKSFORVOTING at check-out, and I will cover the shipping costs within the US. For my overseas and over-the-border friends and family, unfortunately, it’s so darn expensive to ship to you that I’d lose all my earnings if I offered it for free. But I set international shipping costs such that I will likely be subsidizing the actual cost, so that’s something. Local folks who want to avoid shipping costs, use the discount code LOCAL. Then you and I can arrange your pick-up.
Thanks, everyone. I love you, and we’ve got this!
Pam